


Skin (SEASON ONE, EPISODE SIX)

by ackles_ass_equation



Series: Superghetto [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon, Episode: s01e06 Skin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-06 00:37:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6730195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam’s playa, Zach, be accused of cappin' n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam offers ta help up by checkin up on his sister, Rebecca. Rebecky fronts her brutha could not have committed tha cappin' cuz da thug was wit her all up in tha time of tha cappin' n' shit. But all tha physical evidence points ta Zach bein all up in tha scene of tha crime. Could Zach done been at two places all up in tha same time?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. NOW

**POLICE OFFICER**  
It’s ok. It’s ok.

The girl points to the room across the hall.

 **GIRL**  
In there! In there!

The S.W.A.T team moves to the other room. The man is there, trying to open a pair of doors leading to a balcony.

 **POLICE OFFICER**  
Freeze! Don’t move! Drop the knife. Keep your hands where I can see ‘em. Drop it! Hold it right there! Do it!

The man turns around. It is DEAN. The screen goes black.


	2. ACT ONE

(FADE IN: Gas Station. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. One Week Earlier n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN pull tha fuck into tha station.)

 **DEAN** **  
**Alright, I figure we’d hit Tucumcari by lunch, then head south, hit Bisbee by midnight.

SAM do not respond.

 **DEAN**  
Sam wears dem hoes’s underwear.

 **SAM** **  
**I’ve been listenin’, I’m just busy.

Dude is checkin e-mails on his PalmPilot.

 **DEAN** **  
**Busy doin’ what?

 **SAM** **  
**Readin e-mails.

DEAN gets outta tha hoopty n' starts ta fill tha tank wit gas.

 **DEAN** **  
**E-mails from who?

 **SAM** **  
**From mah playaz at Stanford.

 **DEAN** **  
**You’re kidding. Yo ass still keep up in bust a nut on wit yo' college buddies?

 **SAM** **  
**Why not?

 **DEAN** **  
**Well, what tha fuck exactly do you tell ‘em, biatch? Yo ass know, bout where you’ve been, what tha fuck you’ve been doin’?

 **SAM** **  
**I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip wit mah big-ass brutha n' shit. I tell ‘em I needed some time off afta Jess.

 **DEAN** **  
**Oh, so you lie ta ‘em.

 **SAM** **  
**No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

 **DEAN** **  
**Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, dude, I git it, tellin’ tha real deal is far worse.

 **SAM** **  
**So, what tha fuck is I supposed ta do, just cut dem hoes outta mah game, biatch? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re trippin like a muthafucka?

 **DEAN** **  
**Look, it sucks yo, but up in a thang like this, you can’t git close ta people, period.

 **SAM** **  
**You’re kind of anti-social, you know that?

 **DEAN** **  
**Yeah, whatever n' shit.

SAM continues ta read his wild lil' fuckin e-mails.

 **SAM**  
God….

 **DEAN**  
What?

 **SAM**  
In dis e-mail from dis girl, Rebecky Warren, one of dem playaz of mine.

 **DEAN  
** Is dat freaky freaky biatch hot, biatch?

SAM ignores his muthafuckin ass.

 **SAM**  
I went ta school wit her, n' her brother, Zack. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch say Zack’s been charged wit cappin' n' shiznit yo. He’s been arrested fo' cappin' his wild lil' freakadelic hoe yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. Rebecky say da ruffneck didn’t do it yo, but it soundz like tha cops gotz a pimpin' phat case.

 **DEAN**  
Dude, what tha fuck kind of playas is you hangin’ up with?

 **SAM**  
Fuck dat shit, dude, I know Zack yo. He’s no killer.

 **DEAN**  
Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you, biatch.

 **SAM**  
They’re up in St. Louis. We’re goin’.

DEAN chuckles.

 **DEAN**  
Look, sorry ‘bout yo' dawg, aiiight, biatch? But dis do not sound like our kind of problem.

 **SAM**  
It be our problem. They’re mah playas.

 **DEAN**  
St. Louis is four hundred milez behind us, Sam.

They exchange a look fo' realz. A minute later, they pull outta tha gas station n' start driving.

CUT TO: EXT. - REBECCA’s house. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch opens tha door n' sees SAM n' DEAN.

 **REBECCA**  
(happily) Oh mah God, Sam!

 **SAM**  
Well, if it aint lil Becky.

 **REBECCA  
** Yo ass know what tha fuck you can do wit dat lil Becky crap.

Bitch smilez n' they hug.

 **SAM**  
I gots yo' e-mail.

 **REBECCA  
** I didn’t be thinkin dat you would come here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

DEAN steps forward n' extendz his hand.

DEAN. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Older brutha n' shit. (Bitch shakes his hand.)

 **REBECCA**  
Hi.

 **DEAN**  
Hi.

 **SAM**  
We’re here ta help. Whatever we can do.

 **REBECCA  
** Come in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

They strutt inside tha house, n' DEAN shuts tha door.

(CUT TO: INT. - House.)

DEAN: Sick place.

 **REBECCA**  
It’s mah muthafathas’. I was just crashin here fo' tha long weekend when every last muthafuckin thang happened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I decided ta take tha semesta off. I’m gonna stay until Zack’s free.

 **SAM**  
Where is yo' folks?

 **REBECCA**  
They live up in Paris fo' half tha year, so they’re on they way home now fo' tha trial. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. (They enta tha kitchen.) Do you muthafuckas want a funky-ass brew or something?

 **DEAN**  
(smiling) Hey-

 **SAM**  
Fuck dat shit, props. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So, tell our asses what tha fuck happened.

 **REBECCA**  
Well, um, Zack came home, n' he found Emily tied ta a cold-ass lil chair fo' realz. And dat biiiiatch was beaten up n' bloody, n' dat biiiiatch wasn’t breathing. (Bitch starts ta cry like a muthafucka.) So, his schmoooove ass called 911, n' tha police-they flossed up, n' they arrested his muthafuckin ass. But, tha thang is, tha only way dat Zack could’ve capped Emily is if da thug was up in two places all up in tha same time. Da police-they gotz a vizzle. It’s from tha securitizzle tape from across tha street fo' realz. And it shows Zack comin home at 10:30. Now, Emily was capped just afta dat yo, but I swear, da thug was here wit me, havin all dem brews until at least afta midnight.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass know, maybe we could peep tha crime scene. Zack’s house.

 **DEAN  
** We could.

 **REBECCA  
** Why, biatch? I mean, what tha fuck could you do?

 **SAM**  
Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cold-ass lil cop.

DEAN laughs.

 **DEAN**  
Detective, actually.

 **REBECCA  
** Fo' realz, biatch? (DEAN nods.) Where?

 **DEAN**  
Bisbee, Arizona. But I’m off-duty now, nahmeean?

 **REBECCA  
** Yo ass muthafuckas, it’s so sick ta offer yo, but I just-I don’t know.

 **SAM  
** Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do all dis bullshit. Now, we gotta find a way ta prove dat he’s innocent.

 **REBECCA  
** Okay. I’m gonna go git tha keys.

Bitch strutts away, down tha hall.

 **DEAN  
** Oh, yeah, dude, you’re a real straight blasta wit yo' playas.

 **SAM  
** Look, Zack n' Becky need our help.

 **DEAN**  
I just don’t be thinkin dis is our kind of problem.

 **SAM  
** Two places at once, biatch? We’ve looked tha fuck into less.

DEAN say nothing, defeated.


	3. ACT TWO

FADE TO: EXT. - ZACK’s house. DEAN, SAM, n' REBECCA park tha hoopty n' git out.

 **REBECCA** : (to DEAN) You’re shizzle dis be all gravy?

 **DEAN** : Yeah. I be a fool of tha law.

They strutt ta tha house.

CUT TO: INT. - ZACK’s house. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN enta n' look around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da furniture n' wallz of tha doggy den is smeared wit blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! REBECCA stays on tha porch steps.

 **SAM** : Bec, you wanna wait outside?

 **REBECCA** : No. I wanna help.

Bitch ducks under tha five-o tape n' entas tha house.

 **SAM** : Tell our asses what tha fuck else tha five-o holla'd.

 **REBECCA** : (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a funky-ass break-in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. They say dat Emily let her attacker in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da lawyers-they’re already poppin' off bout plea bargain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. (Bitch looks round tha room, crying.) Oh, God….

 **SAM** : Look, Bec, if Zack didn’t do this, it means one of mah thugs done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Any scam who, biatch?

REBECCA shakes her head, then begins ta remember something.

 **REBECCA** : Um, there was something, on some week before. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Some Muthafucka broke up in here n' stole some clothes-Zack’s clothes. Da police-they don’t be thinkin it’s anything. I mean, we’re not dat far from downtown. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sometimes playas git robbed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! (SAM strutts away. DEAN moves ta tha open front door n' sees tha neighbor’s dog, barkin loudly. REBECCA comes up behind his muthafuckin ass.) Yo ass know, dat used ta be tha dopeest dog.

 **DEAN** : What happened?

 **REBECCA** : Dude just chizzled.

 **DEAN** : Do you remember when his schmoooove ass chizzled?

 **REBECCA** : I guess round tha time of tha cappin' n' shit.

DEAN looks at her, then strutts away.

CUT TO: INT. - House. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is up in tha hallway, lookin at a gangbangin' framed picture of his dirty ass, ZACK, n' REBECCA. DEAN strutts over ta his muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN** : So, tha neighbor’s dawg went psycho right round tha time Zack’s hoe was capped.

 **SAM** : Animals can gotz a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass sharp sense of tha paranormal.

 **DEAN** : Yeah, maybe Fido saw somethin’.

 **SAM** : So, you be thinkin maybe dis is our kind of problem?

 **DEAN** : No. Probably not. But we should peep tha securitizzle tape, you know, just ta make sure.

 **SAM** : Yeah.

 **DEAN** : Yeah. (REBECCA strutts over ta dem wild-ass muthafuckas.) So, tha tape. Da securitizzle footage-you be thinkin maybe yo' lawyers could git they handz on it, ‘cause I just don’t have dat kind of jurisdiction.

 **REBECCA** : I’ve already gots dat shit. I didn’t wanna say suttin' up in front of tha cop. (DEAN laughs.) I stole it off tha lawyer’s desk. I just had ta peep it fo' mah dirty ass.

 **DEAN** : All right.

All three of dem muthafuckin bounce.

FADE TO: Street. ZACK is chillin on a funky-ass bench across tha street from a crib yo. Dude watches a Asian playa come outta tha doggy den wit his hoe, LINDSAY.

 **MAN** : I’ll be home tomorrow night. I’ll make it up ta you, biatch.

They kiss. Da playa gets up in his hoopty n' drives away. ZACK watches LINDSAY go back up in tha crib yo. Dude smilez wickedly, n' his wild lil' fuckin eyes glint silver fo' a moment, before returnin ta normal.

FADE TO: INT. - REBECCA’s house. Livin room. DEAN, SAM, n' REBECCA is watchin tha securitizzle footage.

 **REBECCA** : Here his schmoooove ass comes.

Da tape shows ZACK enterin his house.

 **DEAN** : (noticin tha timestamp) 22:04, that’s just afta ten. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass holla'd time of dirtnap was bout 10:30.

 **REBECCA** : Our lawyers hired some kind of vizzle expert yo. Dude say tha tape’s authentic. Well shiiiit, it wasn’t tampered with.

SAM seems ta notice suttin' on tha tape.

 **SAM** : Yo, Bec, can we take dem brews now?

 **REBECCA** : Oh, sure. Bitch gets up ta git all up in tha kitchen.

 **SAM** : Hey. (Bitch turns around.) Maybe some sandwiches, too?

 **REBECCA** : What do you be thinkin dis is, Hooters, biatch?

Bitch leaves tha room.

 **DEAN** : I wish. (Dude strutts over ta SAM.) What tha fuck iz it?

 **SAM** : Peep dis out.

Dude rewindz tha tape, then replays dat shit. One of tha frames shows ZACK lookin directly all up in tha camera yo. His eyes is silver n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM pauses tha tape.

 **DEAN** : Well, maybe it’s just a cold-ass lil camera flare.

 **SAM** : That’s not like any camera flare I’ve eva seen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass know, a shitload of cultures believe dat a photograph can catch a glimpse of tha ass.

 **DEAN** : Right.

 **SAM** : Remember dat dawg dat was freakin’ out, biatch? Maybe da perved-out muthafucka saw dis thang. Maybe dis is some kind of dark double of Zack’s, suttin' dat be lookin like his ass but aint his muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN** : Like a Doppelganger.

 **SAM** : Yeah. It’d shizzle explain how tha fuck da thug was two places at once.

CUT TO: INT. - House. Da Asian playa enters.

 **MAN** : Honey, it’s mah dirty ass. Flight shut down all up in tha last minute. (Dude sets down his briefcase n' keys n' looks around.) I called. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Why didn’t you answer, biatch? (LINDSAY don’t respond.) Lindsay, biatch? (Dude looks around.) Lindsay, biatch? (Dude turns round n' sees blood spattered on tha wall.) Lindsay?! (Dude opens tha door ta a nearby room n' findz LINDSAY. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is tied up in a cold-ass lil chair, beaten n' bloody. Da playa rushes over ta her n' takes tha gag outta her grill.) It’s ok, Lindsay, it’s mah dirty ass.

 **LINDSAY** : Please, don’t hurt me no mo'! Leave me alone biaaatch!

Da playa looks at her, confused. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude hears a noise up in tha other room n' leaves. In tha livin room, tha playa looks around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Suddenly, tha pimpin' muthafucka turns n' sees his dirty ass, standin there wit a funky-ass basebizzle bat. Da playa is puzzled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da double’s eyes glint silver, n' dat schmoooove muthafucka hits tha playa over tha head wit tha bat. Da screen goes black.


	4. ACT THREE

_CUT_ TO: _INT. - House.)_

Da Asian playa enters.

**MAN  
** Honey, it’s mah dirty ass. Flight shut down all up in tha last minute.

Dude sets down his briefcase n' keys n' looks around.

**MAN  
** I called. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Why didn’t you answer, biatch?

LINDSAY don’t respond.

**MAN  
** Lindsay, biatch? 

Dude looks around.

**MAN  
** Lindsay, biatch? 

Dude turns round n' sees blood spattered on tha wall.

**MAN  
** Lindsay?!

Dude opens tha door ta a nearby room n' findz LINDSAY. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is tied up in a cold-ass lil chair, beaten n' bloody. Da playa rushes over ta her n' takes tha gag outta her grill.

**MAN  
** It’s ok, Lindsay, it’s mah dirty ass.

**LINDSAY  
** Please, don’t hurt me no mo'! Leave me alone biaaatch!

Da playa looks at her, confused. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude hears a noise up in tha other room n' leaves. In tha livin room, tha playa looks around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Suddenly, tha pimpin' muthafucka turns n' sees his dirty ass, standin there wit a funky-ass basebizzle bat. Da playa is puzzled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da double’s eyes glint silver, n' dat schmoooove muthafucka hits tha playa over tha head wit tha bat. Da screen goes black.

_(FADE_ IN: _EXT. - ZACK’s house.)_

DEAN n' SAM park they hoopty behind tha doggy den n' git out.

**DEAN  
** Alright, so what tha fuck is our phat asses doin’ here at 5:30 up in tha morning?

**SAM  
** I realized something. Da vizzletape shows tha killa goin’ up in yo, but not comin’ out.

**DEAN  
** So, his schmoooove ass came up tha back door, biatch?

Dude leans against tha hood of his car.

**SAM  
** Right. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So, there should be a trail ta follow fo' realz. A trail tha five-o would never pursue.

**DEAN**    
‘Cause they be thinkin tha killa never left fo' realz. And they caught yo' playa Zack inside. I still don’t know what tha fuck we’re doin’ here at 5:30 up in tha morning.

SAM looks round tha outside of tha building, n' notices blood smeared on a nearby telephone pole.

**SAM  
** Blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Some Muthafucka came dis way.

**DEAN  
** Yeah yo, but tha trail ends. I don’t peep anythang over here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

An ambulizzle drives past them, n' they exchange a look.

_(CUT TO: EXT. - House.)_

DEAN n' SAM observe tha scene.

Da Asian playa is handcuffed n' is steppin tha fuck into a five-o car.

**DEAN  
** (To nearby biatch) What happened?

**WOMAN  
** Dude tried ta bust a cap up in his hoe. Tied her up n' beat her muthafuckin ass.

**SAM  
** Fo' realz?

**WOMAN  
** I used ta peep his ass goin ta work up in tha mornin yo. He’d wave, say wassup yo. Dude seemed like such a sick muthafucka.

They peep tha playa git taken away.

_(CUT TO: EXT. - House. Later n' shit.)_

Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is on tha side of tha house, lookin around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude looks inside two garbage cans but findz not a god damn thang yo. Dude moves ta tha front of tha house, where DEAN comes behind his muthafuckin ass.

**DEAN  
** Hey.

SAM turns around.

**DEAN  
** Remember when I holla'd dis wasn’t our kind of problem?

**SAM  
** Yeah.

**DEAN  
** Definitely our kind of problem.

**SAM  
** What’d you smoke up?

**DEAN  
** Well, I just talked ta tha patrolman whoz ass was first on tha scene, heard dis muthafucka, Alex’s rap fo' realz. Apparently tha dude was rollin home from a funky-ass bidnizz trip when his hoe was attacked.

**SAM  
** So, da thug was two places at once.

**DEAN  
** Exactly. Then da perved-out muthafucka sees his dirty ass up in tha house, five-o be thinkin he’s a nutjob.

**SAM  
** Two dark doublez comin' at loved ones up in exactly tha same way.

**DEAN  
** Could be tha same thang doin’ it, like a muthafucka.

SAM be thinkin fo' a second.

**SAM  
** Shapeshifter, biatch?

DEAN shrugs.

**SAM  
** Somethang dat can make itself be lookin like mah playas?

**DEAN  
** Every culture up in tha ghetto has a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shapeshifta lore. Yo ass know, legendz of creatures whoz ass can transform theyselves tha fuck into muthafuckas or other men.

**SAM  
** Right, skinwalkers, werewolves.

**DEAN  
** We’ve gots two attacks within blockz of each other n' shit. I’m guessin’ we’ve gots a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shapeshifta prowlin’ tha hood.

**SAM  
** Let me ask you this-in all dis shapeshifta lore, can any of dem fly?

**DEAN  
** Not dat I know of.

**SAM  
** I picked up a trail here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Someone ran up tha back of dis buildin n' headed off dis way.

**DEAN  
** Just like yo' playa’s house.

**SAM  
** Yeah fo' realz. And, just like at Zack’s house, tha trail suddenly ends. I mean, whatever it is just disappeared.

**DEAN  
** Well, there’s another way ta go-down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

They look down n' notice a manhole.

_(CUT TO: Sewer n' shit.)_

DEAN n' SAM climb down tha manhole n' look around.

**SAM  
** I bet dis runs right by Zack’s house, like a muthafucka. Da shapeshifta could be rockin tha sewer system ta git around.

**DEAN  
** I be thinkin you’re right. Look at all dis bullshit.

They bend down n' examine a pile of blood n' skin on tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! They is both disgusted.

**SAM  
** Is dis from his suckas, biatch?

DEAN takes up a pocketknife n' holdz up a shitload of tha skin.

**DEAN  
** Yo ass know, I just had a sick thought. When tha shapeshifta chizzlez shape-maybe it sheds. 

**SAM  
** That is sick.

DEAN puts tha bloody pile back on tha ground.

_(CUT TO: Car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.)_

DEAN opens tha trunk n' takes up some weapons.

**DEAN  
** Well, one thang I hustled from Dad, is dat no matta what tha fuck kind of shapeshifta it is, there’s one shizzle way ta bust a cap up in dat shit.

**SAM  
** Silver cap ta tha ass.

**DEAN  
** That’s right.

SAM’s cell beeper rings yo. Dude lyrics dat shit.

**SAM  
** This is Sam.

Da scene alternates between tha hoopty n' REBECCA’s kitchen.

**REBECCA  
** Where is yo slick ass?

**SAM  
** We’re near Zack’s, we’re just checkin’ some thangs out.

**REBECCA  
** Well, look, Sam, just stop, ‘cause I straight-up don’t need yo' help no mo'.

**SAM  
** What is you talkin’ about?

**REBECCA  
** I holla'd all up in tha lawyers dat we went ta tha crime scene.

SAM scoffs.

**SAM  
** Why would you do that?

**REBECCA  
** Well, I holla'd at dem dat we was wit a five-o fool fo' realz. And they checked it out, n' they holla'd at mah crazy ass dat there is no Detectizzle Dean Winchester.

**SAM  
** Bec-

**REBECCA  
** Fuck dat shit, I don’t KNOW why you would lie ta me bout suttin' like dat n' like dis n' like dat y'all.

**SAM  
** We’re tryin’ ta help.

**REBECCA  
** Oh, tryin ta help, biatch? Do you realize dat that was a sealed crime scene, biatch? This could have just fucked up Zack’s case.

**SAM  
** Bec, I’m sorry yo, but-

**REBECCA  
** Fuck dat shit, peace out, Sam.

Bitch hangs up. DEAN strutts over ta SAM, whoz ass looks pissed tha fuck off.

**DEAN  
** I don't give a fuck bout ta say it yo, but that’s exactly what tha fuck I’m talkin’ about. Yo ass lie ta yo' playaz cuz if they knew tha real you, they’d be freaked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! It’s just-it’d be easier if-

**SAM  
** If I was like you, biatch.

**DEAN  
** Yo, dude, like it or not, we aint like other people. But I’ll rap one thang. This whole gig-it ain’t without perks.

Dude holdz up a gun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM takes it n' puts it up in tha back of his jeans. They strutt away.

_(CUT TO: Sewer n' shit.)_

DEAN n' SAM is lookin round wit they flashlights n' guns.

**DEAN  
** I be thinkin we’re close ta its lair.

**SAM  
** Why do you say that?

**DEAN  
** Because there’s another puke-inducin pile next ta yo' face.

SAM turns n' sees another pile of blood n' skin on a nearby pipe. 

**SAM  
** (disgusted) Oh, Dogg hommie!

They look round tha area n' peep a pile of threadz up in a cold-ass lil corner.

**DEAN  
** Looks like it’s lived here fo' a while.

**SAM  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck knows how tha fuck nuff murdaz he’s gotten away with, biatch?

SAM turns n' sees tha shapeshifter, still up in tha form of tha Asian dude, standin behind DEAN.

**SAM  
** Dean!

DEAN turns n' gets socked by tha shapeshifter n' shiznit yo. Dude falls ta tha ground, n' tha shapeshifta runs away. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM blasts afta it all dem times but misses yo. Dude moves over ta DEAN.

**DEAN  
** Git tha lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch!

SAM n' DEAN run away, followin tha shapeshifter.

_(CUT TO: Street.)_

Da shapeshifta comes outta tha manhole n' runs away. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Secondz later, SAM n' DEAN come up n' look around.

**SAM  
** All right, let’s split up.

**DEAN  
** All right, I’ll hook up you round tha other side.

**SAM  
** All right.

They strutt away up in separate directions.

_(CUT TO: Alley.)_

DEAN is lookin around, wit his wild lil' freakadelic glock drawn. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Passersby turn away, frightened.

_(CUT TO: Street._  

Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM be also searching, while keepin his wild lil' freakadelic glock inside his jacket.

_CUT TO: Alley.)_

DEAN is still lookin frantically.

_(FADE TO: Street corner n' shit.)_

Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is waiting. DEAN comes up behind his muthafuckin ass.

**DEAN  
** Hey.

SAM turns around.

**DEAN  
** Anything?

**SAM  
** No yo. He’s gone.

**DEAN  
** All right, let’s git back ta tha car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

SAM crosses tha street. DEAN stops, waitin fo' a passin hoopty ta drive by fo' realz. As tha hoopty passes, DEAN’s eyes momentarily glow silver n' shit. Da screen goes black.


	5. ACT FOUR

(FADE IN: Street.)

DEAN n' SAM stop all up in tha car.

 **SAM**  
Yo ass be thinkin he found another way underground?

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
Yeah, probably. Yo ass gots tha keys, biatch?

SAM stops n' be thinkin before turnin around.

 **SAM**  
Yo, didn’t Dad once grill a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shapeshifta up in San Antonio?

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
Oh, dat was Austin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it turned up not ta be a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shapeshifter, dat shiznit was a thought form fo' realz. A psycho projection, remember?

 **SAM**  
Oh, right yo. Here ya go.

Dude throws tha shapeshifta tha keys n' strutts away. Da shapeshifta opens tha trunk n' observes all tha weapons yo. Dude laughs.

 **SAM  
** Don’t move biaaatch!

Da shapeshifta turns n' sees SAM pointin tha glock at his muthafuckin ass.

 **SAM  
** What have you done wit him?

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** Dude, chill. It’s me, all right?

 **SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, I don’t be thinkin so. Where’s mah brother?

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
You’re bout ta blast his muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam, quit trippin' out.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass caught dem keys wit yo' left. Yo crazy-ass shoulder was hurt.

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** Yeah, it’s mo' betta n' shit. What do you want me ta do, cry?

 **SAM  
** You’re not mah brother.

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** Why don’t you pull tha trigger, then, biatch? Hm, biatch? ‘Cause you’re not sure. Dude, you know mah dirty ass.

 **SAM  
** Don’t.

Da shapeshifta pauses before hittin SAM twice wit a cold-ass lil crowbar. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM falls ta tha ground.

(CUT TO: Unknown location.)

I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM wakes up in a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dingy, dusty room yo. His neck n' handz is bound ta a wooden post. Da shapeshifta strutts over ta his ass n' backhandz his muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM groans.

 **SAM**  
Where is he, biatch? Where’s Dean?

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
I wouldn’t worry bout his muthafuckin ass. I’d worry bout you, biatch.

 **SAM**  
Where is he?

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
Yo ass don’t straight-up wanna know. (Dude chuckles.) I swear, tha mo' I learn bout you n' yo' crew-I thought I came from a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shitty-ass background.

 **SAM**  
What do you mean, learn, biatch?

Da shapeshifta stops yo. Dude grabs his head up in pain n' grimaces fo' realz. A quick succession of audio clips from past episodes can be heard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAM looks all up in tha shapeshifter, confused. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da shapeshifta chillaxes n' looks at SAM.

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** He’s shizzle gots thangs wit you, biatch. Yo ass gots ta git all up in college yo. Dude had ta stay home. I mean, I had ta stay home. With Dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass don’t be thinkin I had tripz of mah own, biatch? But Dad needed mah dirty ass. Where tha hell was yo slick ass?

 **SAM** : Where is mah brother, biatch?

Da shapeshifta leans up in close ta SAM.

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** I be yo' brutha n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. Yo ass gots playas. Yo ass could gotz a game. Me, biatch? I know I’m a gangbangin' freak fo' realz. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave mah dirty ass.

Dude backs away.

 **SAM**  
What is you talkin’ about?

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
Yo ass left yo. Hell, I did every last muthafuckin thang Dad axed mah crazy ass to, n' da ruffneck ditched me, like a muthafucka. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me wit yo' sorry ass. But, still, dis game, biatch? It’s not without its perks. (Dude laughs.) I hook up tha sickst people. Like lil Becky. Yo ass know, Dean would bang her if dat schmoooove muthafucka had tha chance. Let’s peep what tha fuck happens.

Dude smilez n' covers SAM wit a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass sheet.

(CUT TO: INT. - REBECCA’s house.)

There be a knock all up in tha door, n' REBECCA comes downstairs ta open dat shit. Well shiiiit, it is tha shapeshifter, still up in tha form of DEAN.

 **REBECCA**  
Oh yo. Hi.

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** I know what tha fuck you’re gonna say.

 **REBECCA**  
Oh, you do?

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** Well, no, not exactly. But I can take a guess. Git off mah porch, biatch?

Bitch laughs.

 **REBECCA  
** That’s bout right.

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** I admit it, our slick asses lied. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Thought I’d try ta explain mah dirty ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam holla'd at mah crazy ass not ta come yo, but, you know, I thought, what tha fuck tha hell, I gotta try.

Dude smiles.

(CUT TO: Unknown location.)

 I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is tryin ta git outta his bangin ropes but fails.

 **SAM**  
Damn dat shit.

Dude hears movement up in another area of tha room, n' dat schmoooove muthafucka hears one of mah thugs coughing.

 **DEAN** : (OS) That betta be you, Sam, n' not dat freak of nature.

SAM laughs.

 **SAM**  
Yeah, it’s mah dirty ass.

DEAN manages ta uncover his dirty ass from tha shizzle n' starts ta undo his bangin ropes. Dude went ta Rebecca’s, lookin’ like you, biatch.

 **DEAN**  
Well, he’s not fuckin wack yo. Dude picked tha thugged-out one.

SAM gives his ass a cold-ass lil trippin look, then continues ta work all up in his bangin ropes.

(CUT TO: REBECCA’s house.)

Livin room. REBECCA n' tha shapeshifta is chillin up in front of tha fireplace.

 **REBECCA**  
So, you’re sayin dat there’s suttin' up there dat made itself be lookin like mah brother.

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
Mmhmm.

 **REBECCA**  
What’d you call it?

 **SHAPESHIFTER** : A shapeshifter n' shit. (REBECCA laughs n' rolls her eyes.) Yeah, maybe we’re crazy. But what tha fuck if we’re not, biatch? I mean, look, you holla'd it yo ass dat Zack was up in two places at once. Now, tell me how tha fuck dat can happen.

 **REBECCA**  
Okay, so, dis thang-it can make itself be lookin like anybody?

 **SHAPESHIFTER** : That’s right.

Bitch chuckles.

 **REBECCA  
** Well, what tha fuck is it, like a genetic freak, biatch?

Da shapeshifta laughs.

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** Maybe. Evolution be bout mutation, right, biatch? So, maybe dis thang started doin thangs human but was different yo. Hideous n' hated. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Until he hustled ta become one of mah thugs.

REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. Da shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, n' da perved-out muthafucka smiles.

(CUT TO: Unknown location.)

I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. DEAN n' SAM is still hustlin they way outta they ropes.

 **SAM**  
Yeah, that’s tha thang yo. Dude didn’t just be lookin like you, da thug was you, biatch. Or da thug was becomin you, biatch.

DEAN finally works his way outta tha ropes.

 **DEAN**  
What do you mean?

 **SAM**  
I don’t know, dat shiznit was like da thug was downloadin yo' thoughts n' memories.  
 **DEAN**  
Yo ass mean, like tha Vulcan mind meld?

 **SAM  
** Yeah, somethin’ like dis shit. I mean, maybe that’s why da ruffneck don’t just bust a cap up in us.

DEAN gets up n' strutts over ta SAM.

 **DEAN  
** Maybe he need ta keep our asses kickin dat shit, yo. Psychic connection. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Dude starts untyin SAM’s ropes.

 **SAM  
** Hands. Yeah. Come on, we gotta go yo. He’s probably at Rebecca’s already.

(CUT TO: Alley.)

DEAN n' SAM climb up a window n' onto tha street.

 **SAM  
** Come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We gotta find a phone, call tha police.

 **DEAN  
** Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You’re gonna put a APB up on mah dirty ass.

SAM shrugs.

 **SAM**  
Sorry.

 **DEAN** : This way.

They start hustlin down tha street.

(CUT TO: REBECCA’s house. Livin room.)

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** It’s funky. I kind of KNOW his muthafuckin ass yo. He’s all alone-close ta no one fo' realz. All da thug wants is fo' one of mah thugs ta ludd his muthafuckin ass yo. He’s like mah dirty ass. (REBECCA looks straight-up uncomfortable.) Yo ass know, dem hoes needz a lil human bust a nut on now n' then. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. It’s so hard ta be different.

Dude tucks REBECCA’s afro behind her ear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch shrugs away.

 **REBECCA**  
Yo ass should go. (Da shapeshifta leans up in n' whispers suttin' up in her ear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch looks horrified n' standz up.) Yo ass is disgusting, just git tha hell outta here!

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** Rebecca, just quit trippin' out.

Dude standz up.

 **REBECCA**  
Calm down, biatch? What tha fuck iz poppin' off wit yo slick ass?

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
What’s wack wit me son, biatch? What’s wack wit yo slick ass, biatch?

Bitch strutts ta tha phone.

 **REBECCA**  
I’m callin tha police.

Da shapeshifta strutts over ta her n' throws tha beeper ta tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch screams n' tries ta run away yo, but tha pimpin' muthafucka trips her n' she falls ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude straddlez her hairy-ass legs n' begins tyin her handz wit tha telephone cord.

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
Give me yo' handz muthafucka! (Bitch continues ta scream.) Shut up!

(CUT TO: Bedroom.)

REBECCA is tied up in a cold-ass lil chair, beaten n' bloody.

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
You’re a sick girl, Rebecca. I mean, I was horny bout you, biatch. Believe me, dat make dis harder n' shit. (Dude holdz up a knife n' examines dat shit.) But I gotta do what tha fuck I gotta do. (Dude moves towardz her n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly, they hear a cold-ass lil crash come from another room of tha house. REBECCA screams but tha shapeshifta covers her grill n' holdz tha knife ta her throat.) Shh.

(CUT TO: Hallway.)

Da S.W.A.T. crew is searchin tha house. While they backs is turned, tha shapeshifta crosses tha hall n' goes tha fuck into another room.

(CUT TO: Second bedroom.)

Da shapeshifta entas n' closes tha door, lookin round frantically yo. Dude moves ta a set of doors leadin up ta a funky-ass balcony. Just as he opens tha doors, tha S.W.A.T crew enters.

 **POLICE OFFICER**  
Freeze biaaatch! Drop tha knife biaaatch! Drop tha knife biaaatch! Drop tha knife biaaatch! (Da shapeshifta throws tha knife all up in tha five-o fool, n' tha rest of tha crew begins blasting. Da shapeshifta kicks one of tha men, then goes outside n' jumps off tha balcony, onto tha grass below.) Come on! Come on! Go! Go!

Da shapeshifta runs away, while tha crew continues ta blast n' miss his ass nuff muthafuckin times.

(FADE TO: Sewer n' shit.)

Da shapeshifta stops strutting, lookin weak yo. Dude takes off his jacket n' shirt, then falls ta his knees yo. Dude groans n' screams up in pain as his schmoooove ass continues ta shed his skin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da screen goes black.


End file.
